Garden State
Tuesday, February 16th, 2010 at
9:48 am
Description
Writer/Director Zach Braff delivers “an Oscar®-worthy performance” (CBS-TV Chicago) opposite a “wacky and endearing” (Newsweek) Natalie Portman in this quirky, coming-of-age comedy. Twentysomething, emotionally detached Andrew “Large” Largeman (Braff) hasn’t been home to New Jersey in nine years. Now, as Large attempts to re-connect with a variety of odd acquaintances – including his father – he decides to risk getting high on the most potent and unpredictable drug t… More >>
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Not even mildly entertaining. Weak script. Story that’s been done by many. Obnoxious performance by Natalie Portman. Just very, very bad.
Rating: 1 / 5
I was suckered into seeing Garden State this past weekend and wasted 2 hours of my life.
I’m a huge fan of Scrubs and Zach Braff – I TIVO his show every week. But this pablum called “Garden State” is truly horrible.
First of all, the writing. No one talks like the characters do in this movie. Not fathers, not sons, not boyfriends/girlfriends, not even drug-crazed grave diggers. The characters pop out words and sentences that scream “listen to me. I’m an NBC star and I have money to make my movie even if the whole thing is ka-ka!”
Next, the acting. Zach sleepwalks through this thing. This is the problem of allowing a young TV star free reign to direct his own script. He doesn’t know how to do it. Natalie Portman’s scenes pop out of no where — make no sense — then end. The interactions between Zach and his father were ridiculous and the grand chase for the necklace was nonsensical. I would have punched the guy for grave-robbing in the first place. C’mon — we reward the friend because he returns something he stole from a dead mom?
Finally, the plot. No one over 17 should have found anything in this movie new or interesting. This “trying to find myself” stuff has been done before and much better in many movies.
This p.o.s. suffered from lack of editing, lack of direction and lack of a good writer. Zach should stick to reading other people’s writing and spend his money on cars or something. Not on more movies.
Just because no one got blown up, stabbed, shot or stuffed in a trunk, doesn’t mean it’s a good movie.
It isn’t.
Rating: 1 / 5
“Garden State” is exactly the type of pretentious film you’d expect from a 20-something actor making his debut as a writer-director. The amateur filmmaker in this case is Zach Braff (TV’s “Scrubs”), who also plays the main character, Andrew Largeman, a mopey struggling actor who takes a break from L.A. to go home to New Jersey and attend his mother’s funeral. While there, he slowly reconnects with old friends and makes a new connection with Sam (Natalie Portman), an odd local girl he meets at a doctor’s office. Thematically, “State” is about coming of age in our strange modern society.
What could have been an interesting little independent film instead just gives the term “independent film” a bad name. There’s a lot of forced quirk here, and it’s that ooky kind that makes you squirm in your seat. One nauseating example? Sam likes to stand around and do some little crazy dance because no one has ever done that exact thing in that exact space before… Eesh, what a corny and insincere moment, and, sadly, it’s far from the only one here. There’s also a stiff, dead hamster, a man in a knight’s costume, and, my God, so much more. As well, characters cuss for no real reason except to cuss (or earn an R rating) and it makes already unbelievable lines of dialogue sound even more fake.
Maybe some of Braff the Screenwriter’s flaws would have been forgivable if it weren’t for the way his script was undeservingly treated as so unique and poetic by Braff the Director. He gives too much credit to his own lame or unoriginal ideas, and “State” has this whole weight of gauzy pretentiousness that, frankly, should just embarrass him. As well, there’s a point at which the movie becomes needlessly depressing, and because Braff is such an amateur, he can’t find a way to shake that mood once it sets in. (Note to him for future films: depressing doesn’t necessarily equal affecting, nor does awkward equal funny, and you don’t need either to make a film unique.)
Despite its popularity with hipsters between 17 and 30, “Garden State” isn’t the great film that some have hyped it up to be. Rather, it’s the typical result of a 20-something Hollywood actor’s attempt at an “original” and “different” indie film: an awkward, distancing and just plain disappointing fizzler.
Rating: 2 / 5
Wow! The only remarkable thing about this movie is, how boring it really is. It is supposed to be a comedy. Well, I didn’t laugh a single time. I didn’t even smile once! I simply do not get the excitement of many reviews. I really felt disgusted by the main character. I give one star for the motorcycle with the sidecar, which was really cool.
Don’t watch this movie!!!
Rating: 1 / 5
I feel so pathetic for writing this. I’m sitting in my apartment in my underwear, so upset about all the praise that Garden State has gotten, that I think it’s important that I try to explain to people why it’s so bad. Do I really want to destroy other people’s happiness (not that I think I’ll actually influence anyone’s opinion)? I don’t know. And who cares what people think anyway, when they can listen to dialogue like this and not leave the theater? Okay, the dialogue; so stupidly written and laden with expletives to suggest that it is the true voice of today’s Zach Braffian youth, and it’s just bad. his four speeches, in the pool, at the fire, to his dad and to Natalie Portman, were the worst parts of the movie. i think his character would have been less likable if he was more believable. I don’t want to talk about how stupid and obvious the whole thing about his medicaton was, or the boat in the rain, or the “sterile white room,” it is painful. I would like to say that there are a lot of evocative shots in the movie, like of the giant cavern thing, and when Zach Braff reaches over and intimately touches his dad’s chest, you know? Those moments suggest that he has some idea of what can be powerful in a movie. He might be a good director if he was directing an interesting script I think. Think about some of the lines his grave digger friend says; it’s only because the acting is so good that the movie works in any way. Every line Zach Braff says makes my teeth clench, his acting is not good. He swam funny though, that was a good few seconds of the movie. This movie has all the random power, undeniable talent, and overall incompetance of any number of student films that will be made this year. I’d like to say though, I don’t mind if you like Garden State, this is just what I think. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, please don’t go and write a negative review of Bottle Rocket or something to get back at me. Actually, maybe that’s fair. I also like Nights of Cabiria, Mean Streets, You Can Count on Me and Kiki’s Delivery Service. Do your worst, cowards! You will only kill a man.
Rating: 2 / 5